Don't know what is wrong with me

I ate everything under the sun today. I feel very depresed. I did 20min on the bike this am. Here is what I ate (see if I can remember everything 8-(

breakfast: SF bar
later on: 1/2 can fruit cocktail and about a cup of yogurt
+ some cornbread lying around, 2 pieces, buttered and microwaved
+Lean Cuisine lasagna dinner
+ salad
+ another SF bar
+ rest of fruit cocktail and about 1 c. yoghurt
+ 4 slices of some glutin-free bread that my brother left behind, with butter
+ about 2-3 c of mini-vanilla wafers
+ one ice cream sandwich
+ one left-over hot dog (the meat only, not the whole thing)
+ i can of sugared soda
There's probably some stuff I left out

I just feel depressed, left out, run over, ignored, fat and ugly and guilty that even tho I know all this, I haven't got the self-control to stay away from stuffing my face when I am not hungry.
Normal people eat to satisfy hunger, I eat to fill up the big hole in myself that says I am worthless.
No amount of motivational self-talk works. No image of a thin me wearing fashionable clothing and nice shoes etc. helps. When you are depressed you are depressed.
Just a few days ago I was gung-ho to make a big difference in my life. Shortest diet I ever fucked up. Usually lasts longer than a few days. I am so useless. Can't even take control of my own life